Parenting

Why I chose attachment parenting

Maybe you have all heard advises like “Do not pick the baby all the time! He will get used to it!” or “Do not breastfeed at night. His tummy needs to rest!” or “Breastfeed on 3 hours! He should not eat so often.” or my favorite “He is using your breasts for a pacifier! Why not give him one?!” .. it’s a long list. Now I will tell you why I breastfeed on demand, wear my boy in my hands and my baby never needed a pacifier.

As I got pregnant, all of the mothers around me were happy to tell me what it was like to have children. I’m from that strange type of people who want to live everything on their own and will never listen to unasked advice. So I didn’t enjoy someone revealing me all the tricks of motherhood. It was about to come, wasn’t it? There were lots of recommendations on all topics ranging from breastfeeding to the color of the baby poo. So one moment comes when the stereotypes are already stuck in your head and you feel like you know what you should do when the little one is born. Or at least until one day … 

So I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy and my life with him started. By fulfilling most of the recommendations given to me by the senior in the family, day after day, I watched a roaring and eternally angry baby. I forbade all relatives to come to my home. Facebook, Viber and the phone were enough. So they couldn’t wash my head completely. 

After months of trial and error, I started breastfeeding my boy on demand. When he started to groan I gave him to eat and everything was fine! He fell asleep on my chest and did not cry, nor was he angry, on the contrary! He was smiling and ready to play!

I decided to question all the “advises” I had received during my pregnancy. And guess! From constantly crying baby, he became so cheerful!

The big baby wearing begun! I wore my son all the time, and if I have to be honest, I loved it! I was snuggling him, kissing him all the time and he laughed and smiled. This is how my passion for babywearing was born. Everyone knows that after 10 minutes of wearing your kid can be very exhausting so I started looking for another way to wear him. I had not heard of babywearing until then. And how did you ever hear about something you did not see, no one practiced.. so I begun searching the internet for a kangaroo. And they always seemed a little uncomfortable and bulky to me. I did not want to put my son in this thing. After some hour spent on the internet I came across an e-shop where slings were sold. And after I did my research I ordered an elastic sling. At first my boy didn’t like it at all. He pulled and pushed me as if it seemed to him somewhat narrow. But when he reached 3 months he refused the stroller completely so I was forced to perfect my babywearing skills. And so until now. Slings, buckle carriers, mai tai, onbuhimo … it became an obsession! Day by day I learnt to tie the sling quickly and it wasn’t causing me any discomfort, on the contrary- I was having fun! I added one more hobby to reusable diapers. 

I think to skip commenting the pacifier thing at all. I will only mention that I do not mind if my son is using me for a pacifier. My son denied it completely anyway when he reached 2 months. Anyway I find nothing wrong in my son sleeping in my arms, on my chest. I even think this is the place he is meant to be!

After I stopped listening to people and started listening to myself, I felt the pleasure of being a parent. Parenthood has no rules. It relies on the sixth sense and feelings of the mother. Raising of a child must be guided by the child himself, not by the parent. When I stopped applying rules, I began to understand all the cues my son was sending me, and the cares for him were no longer a burden, it became a pleasure! And so until now! 

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